I Am a Butterfly
by allmannerofsins
Summary: Bella is stuck in a loveless, aggressive marriage. After one tragic night her life is changed irrevocably. With this second chance she’s at last free to flourish. AH, B/E. Rated M for language & future dashes of lemon.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

Just to give you a heads-up; this chapter is heavy on the gloom. It's not happy and it ain't pretty. If you are in anyway offended or affected by mentions of domestic violence I suggest you click the big, red 'X' in the right-hand corner of your screen. I promise this is as dark as it gets! I also promise it's not as dark as I'm probably making it out to be. You can be the judge of that though.

FYI It pains me to post this without a beta's eyes having passed over it. Who knows what kind of horrific grammatical mistakes I've probably made. I desperatley need a lovely beta to come save me & my story. If you read this & fancy giving me a helping hand please message me. It would be greatly appreciated.

This is a ridicuously long first chapter and for that I apologise. Any kind of feedback is welcome as this is only my second attempt at getting one of my stories out there. Enough rambling from me.

**Disclaimer :** Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. If I did I wouldn't be living in a one bedroom flat in Soho.

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**Chapter One : Not Tonight**

I'm an incredible liar. That's not something most people boast about. I need to be good at it otherwise my life of carefully crafted lies would crumble and everyone would see me for who I really am; a scared, sad and alone little girl. This is not how I intended to spend my days. I had so much ambition once. I had dreams of family and happiness and growing old with someone I love. But here I am, stuck on repeat in the same old town with the same old people. Everyone else moved on, followed their dreams. Not me.

On this particular night I sit here in my beautiful kitchen in my beautiful house, waiting for my husband to come home. If this were any other night there would be the delicious aroma of a home cooked lasagne or pie wafting through the vents of the oven and a glass of red wine waiting on the dining table. Not tonight.

I had only just returned home from an impromptu getaway. I had been staying with Alice and her fiancée Jasper in the city. My excuse for turning up on their doorstep unannounced one evening was that Daniel was away on business for the first time and I was scared in the huge house by myself. Alice, being the kind and perfect friend that she is, asked no questions and promptly made the bed in her spare room and grabbed a bottle of wine. She didn't need to hear that my husband had flown into one of his violent rages and thrown me out of the house for no apparent reason.

Alice was one of those rare people that you see in movies and on the TV. She's the girl that everyone wants as their best friend. Honest, lively and truly beautiful inside and out. The kind of girl dreamed up by authors to be the perfect companion for their spirited heroine. She would do anything for me. I was a pretty crappy friend. I tried my hardest to be better but it was difficult. I found it incredibly painful to lie to such a good person which, sadly, I had to do every single time I spoke to her. I used to be like Alice but now the only commonality we share is beauty. It's all I was allowed to have.

My fingers tap absentmindedly on the surface of the dining table. I jump out of my skin as I hear his key twist in the lock. It's been four days since I've felt this overwhelming terror. It was nice to catch a break from it. Daniel didn't know where Alice lived and he didn't bother to try and find out. He knew I would return; I have no choice.

The front door creaked open and his heavy footsteps carry him into the hallway. I hear the jingle of his keys as they settle on their hook, the rustle of his coat at he lays it over the banister. He must know I'm here; I left the light on upstairs to warn him of my presence. This is not a man you want to surprise.

My heart works overtime as his footsteps near. I'm sure all colour is drained from my already porcelain skin and beads of sweat gather at my hairline. My hands are clammy and still tapping a furious rhythm on the table top. I brace myself for impact as I feel his eyes upon my back.

"Ah, so Isabella finally returns." He says softly. "Where have you been beautiful?"

I cringe away from his icy fingers as they brush along the damp skin on the back of my exposed neck.

"I was w-with Alice." I whisper, fumbling slightly.

He's in front of me now, crouching down to my level. His black eyes burning into mine with accusation.

"And you really expect me to believe that Isabella? Huh, you're stupider than I thought." He shakes his head in disapproval; his hand grasping the base of my thigh. Tight, too tight.

I know better than to answer him back but tonight, I can't seem to care. The feisty Bella inside me is just begging for a fight; coward Bella can take a backseat. Enough is enough.

"You know I'm telling the truth. Don't accuse me of that shit just because you spread yourself around." I sneered.

His face turned crimson, his jaw clenching. Eyes tightly shut. Mouth pursed into a tight line. Grip tighter. Breaths are heavier. Here it comes.

His eyes flew open to stare me down once again. I stood my ground, staring into those murky depths. I'm sure his eyes used to be blue, I can't seem to remember. They've seemed so lifeless for a while now. I was sure he would see the same emptiness in mine.

Why did we do this? How did we get here?

"I 'spread myself around' because you are a worthless piece of shit." He shook his head in disgust. His grip still tightening on my thigh.

"Now get the fuck out of my sight." He seethed through clenched teeth.

_Deep breaths Bella_. "No. I'm not going anywhere."

His eyes lit up, loving gaining a reaction for the first time in a while. Usually I just comply and get my sorry ass out of the room. Not tonight.

"Isabella," He sighed, "if you don't get out of this room I'm going to _put_ you out of this room." He was calmer now. It was an empty threat. One he hadn't had to follow through on in a few months at least.

"Go nuts honey because I'm not going _anywhere_." I sat back and folded my arms across my chest, a forced smirk plastered on my face.

_Bring it on asshole._

"So who was it tonight then Daniel? Hmm, let me think..." I tapped a finger on my chin mockingly. "Was it Tara? I bet it was Tara. You're always _so_ sombre when you've been fucking Tara." I smiled, waiting for a reaction.

"Get the fuck out of this room Isabella I'm warning you."

"Why? Are you going to hit me? Or just tell me how worthless I am some more? Because I've got all night."

I leant forward; our faces mere inches apart. It was taking every bit of strength not to book it out of that room or throw up the contents of my stomach all over his lap. I was dangling a succulent piece of steak in the eyes of a ravenous lion. I knew what was coming but didn't have the energy to care anymore. Maybe I wanted this.

He let out a small, breathy laugh and stood up, his grip on my thigh finally gone. Seconds later I was being yanked out of the chair and onto my feet. I forgot how strong he was.

He dragged me up the staircase, my clumsy feet getting the better of me as I stumbled behind him. He was too fast for me. It wasn't like I could get out of this predicament, I was just going to have to try and keep up with him.

We arrived at our bedroom door and he proceeded to throw me into the dark room. I fell forward onto my hands and knees with a loud smack; my palms stinging from the harsh contact they made with the wooden floorboards.

"There's a good girl, on your knees." He sputtered, laughing noisily and pointing at me like I was an entertaining animal at the zoo.

I snapped, something finally clicking in my head. I had taunted and prattled but then given up and let him continue his abuse. Not tonight.

There's only so far you can push a person until they break.

I broke.

I launched myself off my knees and straight towards him. I shoved him violently against the wall, throwing all my weight into it. A look of shock passed over his features while he registered what had just happened.

_Yes asshole, I'm fighting back._

My tiny fists were trying their very best, and failing, to do some damage. He abruptly became a man without reason. He grabbed my wrists and threw me sideways so I crashed onto our bed. He straddled my waist, his arms holding me down with force.

"What the fuck do you think you're playing at Isabella? You don't get to play tough guy with me. I'm the one in charge here! Do you hear me?!" He spat; his face so close I could feel his wet breath on my lips.

I tried to answer but couldn't. He was choking me. His immense hands grasping my slender neck with such a force it turned his already crimson face a new, darker shade. My legs kicked to no avail with the full weight of his body pinning me down. He had officially lost any ounce of sanity that still lingered in his fucked-up head.

This was a new kind of agony; one that surpassed all of the pushes and pulls. One that kicked the ass of all the punches and slaps. I couldn't _breathe_.

My hands feebly attempted to pry his grip away from my neck. I was going to die here, on my queen-sized bed in my beautiful house at the hands of my hideous husband. All I could think in this moment was that there was no way the bastard would be able to get away with this one. All the hospital trips for bloody foreheads and broken ribs were always covered up with a _"Gosh, Bella is so clumsy!"_. Dr Cullen always looked at me with such pity, like he knew.

_Oh such a tangled web you have weaved Bella._

Not tonight. Tonight I was going to die; not being able to have blossomed into the woman I always longed to be. And then something caught my eye as I frantically searched for a way out. As my gasping grew heavier, my lungs trying their very hardest to drag the stolen air back inside, I saw the picture on my bedside table. It was Alice, Charlie and me. Alice and I were just 18 and glowing with ambition; both grinning from ear to ear. We each had our arms wrapped around Charlie's neck in a beautiful, natural embrace. He was trying his best not to smile but it was like he couldn't resist; one side of his mouth pulling up into one of his classic smirks. He was so sick that day too. I remembered it so painfully, so vividly.

Those final days with my dad. The ones where he told me to be extraordinary. He told me that nothing was impossible, that I deserved the world. That I wouldn't be sad forever after he left me. That time passes. That he would be with me, always.

And here I lay dying at the hands of the man who made me believe I was ordinary; the man who made sure I was always sad. If Charlie was really with me right now he would be ashamed.

With the tiny bit of energy I had left I reached behind me, underneath my pillow and fingered the cold metal of my father's pistol. It's really hard trying to do anything when the life is being coaxed from you but I pushed, for Charlie. I pulled the gun down to my side. Charlie always said it would come in handy one day. Daniel was too far gone to notice anything apart from making damn sure I was still dying. The muscles in his arms looked fit to burst but his face was the picture of concentration and calm.

_Pure evil._

I brought the pistol to my stomach and pointed it upwards. At least I hoped. I couldn't really see anymore. My vision was fading to black, my body slowly giving into the comforting darkness. My pulse was stuttering, slowing; my poor, broken heart doing all it could to keep me from subsiding under the hands of this killer. I needed to act fast before I vanished.

_How long could a person go without air?_

My finger lazily hooked inside the trigger and pulled.

And then everything was incredibly quiet.

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**I hope that all made sense/didn't piss everyone off.**

**It's all uphill from here kids. I promise.**

**If you're still with me after this expect an update before the weekend is over.**

**Much love x x x Kris**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Hello again.**

**Thanks to those of you who reviewed & SO many of you added me to author alert, story alert & favourites.  
Don't be shy & review! I want to hear from you gorgeous readers.  
**

**So here's chapter two.  
Still a little sombre but not for long, I promise.  
BIG thanks to my beautiful friend Jen (robssexhair) who beta'd this for me. You the man 3  
You should check out her story, _Remember Me_, it's wonderful.  
Also the very talented Tara made me a SUPER pretty & simple banner. It's on my profile :)**

**Nuff rambling! Onto the chapter...**

**Disclaimer :**

**I wish these characters were mine but sadly, that's not the case.  
**

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_It seems that I have been held in some dreaming state  
A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake  
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber  
Till I realized that it was you who held me under_

_  
Felt it in my fists in my feet in the hollows of my eyelids  
Shaking through my skull, in my spine and all through my ribs_

_No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone  
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden_

_Blinding, Florence + The Machine_

**Chapter Two : Free**

_Death is peaceful, easy. Life is harder._

My throat was raw as if heavy fingers were still pressing down on the tender skin. I tried to scream but nothing came out. I tried to open my eyes but my lids were stuck down with dried tears; I couldn't find the strength to pry them open. It felt like my limbs were glued to the bed. There was a strong, bitter smell of iron in the air. Unmistakeably blood; _his_ blood.

_What did you do?_

Then I heard a muffled voice; Alice's voice. I swear that girl was psychic. She would know I was in trouble if we were worlds apart.

"Bella? It's me! I knocked but there was no answer." Her voice drew nearer.

"Hello? Oh my goodness… BELLA!"

Her warm hands were immediately on my face, her tiny fingers pressing against my pulse.

"Oh, Bella… What happened? I don't..."

I tried to talk, to give her reassurance, but the words just wouldn't come out; my mouth stuck shut. I could hear and feel but couldn't move, see or speak. I felt completely helpless.

I could hear her fumbling as she searched for her cell phone, her frantic fingers dialling for help .

"Yes, ambulance please! I don't know! It's… It's my friend and her husband, she's... Her neck. Oh God. H-her name is Bella Swan, he's Daniel Harris. It's 65 Terrance Way, we're upstairs. P-please... There's so... So much blood."

I heard violent sobs heaving from her mouth. She scoffed at the person on the end of the line.

"Stay calm? How the hell am I meant to stay calm! No... Ah, I don't know! What can I do to help? There's a gun and... Please!"

This was my fault. I should have just walked away from him like I always did. I taunted and I pushed him and now this.

Shouting was coming from the hallway downstairs and I could hear sets of footsteps running towards us. Unfamiliar hands were rapidly on my wrists and burning neck.

"Miss, I need you to calm down. Now can you tell me what her name is, please?" A soothing female voice inquired.

"H-her name is Bella." Alice murmured.

Hands were once again on my face. I was finally able to pry my eyes open. I could barely make out the outline of the woman's face. Everything was blurry; it was painful, stinging.

"She's awake. Bella, I need you to squeeze my hand if you can hear me. Can you do that for me?"

I felt the warmth of her hand in mine. I squeezed loosely. It hurt.

"That's good. Now I need you to squeeze once for yes, twice for no. Do you understand?"

I squeezed once.

"Great. Now we're going to move you onto a stretcher and take you to the hospital. I'm going to ask your friend here to keep a hold of your hand while we move you. If you feel any discomfort at all, any difficulty breathing, I need you to squeeze once, OK?"

I squeezed again.

"That's perfect. Now it's very important that we check that we can move you. Can you wiggle your toes for me Bella?"

I squeezed once, pushing the little strength I had left down to the tips of my cold toes.

"That's great, Bella."

A deep, male voice shouted from my right.

"He's not responding. We need to call it. He's gone."

I could hear sirens and feel my body being shifted. It ached. I felt Alice's comforting grip on my hand, her whispered promises that everything was going to be OK.

_He's gone._

An overwhelming sense of relief flushed over my battered body. Then, for the second time that night, everything went black.

My heavy eyes opened to a harsh, white light. It was blinding. Did they really have to make hospitals so bright? I lay uncomfortably on a lumpy mattress, a stack of pillows propped under my throbbing head. Tubes and wires tugged at my hands and arms, and an annoying beeping came from the heart monitor to my left.

_Damn, I hated hospitals._

I could swear I was swallowing sandpaper, my throat gritty and tender with every laboured breath. I searched for the call button; my memory was hazy and I was desperate for answers.

Within seconds a nurse scuttled into my room, taking in my expression with a practiced eye.

"Miss Swan, you're awake. How are you feeling sweetheart?" She had kind eyes. I liked her.

I tried to speak but all that came out was a painful whisper. "W-where's Alice?"

"You're friends are right outside, I'll go get them. Do you need more pain meds?" She asked gently, flicking the IV feed.

I shook my head, immediately regretting saying no as a stab of pain shot through my neck. I winced.

Obviously noticing the agony etched across my face, she sighed. "Don't be brave. If you need me hit the call button, okay?"

I nodded slowly as she wearily left the room.

Moments later a tired and blotchy looking Alice burst in through the door, rushing to my side. She stared at me, her bottom lip trembling. "Oh Bella, I-I was so scared!" She blubbered.

"Alice I'm so sorry, everything's fine now. It's okay." I comforted her, my voice still a husky whisper.

"I'm just so happy you're awake, we were starting to get worried but the nurses said it was just your body protecting itself." She sat on the edge of my bed, wiping the tears off her cheeks.

"How long was I out?"

"About two days. And that's just long enough though, thank you. I've been going insane." She huffed. "Bella do you... Do you remember what happened at all? With Daniel?"

I cringed at the mention of his name, nodding weakly.

_I killed him. I had murdered my wretched husband._

"I don't understand… I mean, I had a feeling you know? But I never really knew for sure that… He was doing that to you." She looked bewildered.

"It's been that way for a long time now, Alice," I sighed while she stared at me with wide eyes. "We were only happy for the first year. We were young, you remember. It was all very exciting and impulsive. I caught him in bed with another woman, more than once, and felt nothing. No anger, no hurt, just… Nothing. I used it against him whenever we argued and it made him angry, that's when it started. First it was just verbal but then it gradually developed into pushing and shoving, then –"

"Stop Bella." She interrupted. "I can't listen to this! You don't need to explain anything to me after what I saw that night, he tried to kill you Bella. Even if that was the first time he ever laid a finger on you I would never have wanted him to live. Right now what I'm more concerned about is how you're coping with...what you did." She tensed and looked down at her fingers, now intertwined with mine.

"I feel nothing, still. No guilt, no pain... Naught; the bastard had it coming." I smiled wryly.

Alice giggled through her tears. "I love you so much, Bella. I don't know what we would have done without you. I think either Jasper or I would have finished him off if you didn't. At least you did it out of self defence; everyone knows that. Dr Cullen showed all your medical records to the police and told them he always had his suspicions."

"I'm free, Alice. He's really gone... Really, really gone forever." The last word came out sounding strangled as the tears I had been trying to hold back finally took over my body.

_Free._

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**Update will be soon! We get to meet Edward next chapter so stick around 3  
Reviews are ALMOST as good as Rob watching a hot model bathe....ALMOST**

**x Kris**


	3. Chapter 3

**So...here we meet Edward.  
I REALLY hope you like him. Because I kinda adore him.  
**

**Once again big thanks to robssexhair for being awesome and helping me out.  
If I could, I would make sure you were the one straddling Rob on a random LA balcony 33**

**A few more reviews this time around. THANK YOU!  
Lots and lots of you favored/alerted the story too.  
ILU!**

**Onto the good shit...**

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_We can never go home  
We no longer have one  
I'll help you carry the load  
I'll carry you in my arms  
The kiss of the snow  
The crescent (crashing) moon above us  
Our blood is cold  
And we're alone  
But I'm alone with you_

_No Sound But The Wind: The Editors_

**Chapter Three: Edward**

After nine long days of being a helpless hospital patient, I was finally allowed to go home. My name was cleared of murder by the prosecution; it was perfectly clear I used the acceptable amount of force required in order to save myself from Daniel's hands. It was ruled self-defence immediately. My injuries were obviously sustained by him and the only way to prevent my death was to cause his. I was lucky I had the gun, otherwise I would be worm's meat by now.

_Thanks for the firearm, Charlie._

Thankfully, I didn't have to attend any legal meetings. I was visited daily by police officers, defence attorneys and once, a rather thorough specialist doctor who made me feel more uncomfortable than anyone. Were the ghastly hand prints that were etched into my skin not enough evidence?

I was on my way to Alice and Jasper's who had, very kindly, let me stay with them. I don't think I could face entering that house in Westchester ever again. I wanted to sell it and find a nice apartment close to Alice's place in the heart of the city. No more suburban lifestyle for me; I always wanted to be a Manhattan girl.

Everyone seemed to be finding it hard to understand that I was okay with what had happened. They treaded carefully around me, as if waiting for me to breakdown at any moment and cry for my dead husband. I had only cried once and that was the day I woke up. And that sure as hell wasn't about _him_. I worried myself sometimes; maybe I was a bit _too_ happy with the way things had transpired. But then again, I was an unfulfilled woman who had suffered years of unhappiness and abuse at the hands of a husband I didn't love. Should I lay back and be sad that he didn't succeed in killing me?

_I don't fucking think so._

"Bella are you really sure you're going to be okay?" Alice huffed, barging into the living room whilst applying her lip-gloss.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll be fine Alice, I swear. For the last time, go enjoy yourselves."

She pouted briefly before being distracted by two sturdy arms sliding around her waist. All that man had to do was be near her and she calmed; a huge feat when it came to my highly-strung best friend. Jasper placed his chin on her shoulder and she smiled so serenely I was almost jealous.

"Come on baby, she'll be fine. Little ol' Bella can take care of herself, can't you sweetheart?" He drawled in that ridiculously suave Texan accent.

I nodded furiously. "Go! Have fun! Drink and be in love somewhere else. I will call you if I get lonely. I'm sure that won't be the case though; I have both Ben _and_ Jerry to keep me company." I waved my carton of cookie dough in her direction.

Alice threw her hands up in defeat. "Ugh, fine! We'll be home before midnight though missy! Don't go getting into any trouble." She smiled; it didn't reach her eyes.

"Ally please… Don't do this to yourself. Come here."

Jasper released her and walked over to me to place a quick kiss on my forehead. "Bye kid, catch you later. I'll meet you in the cab, baby." He rubbed Alice's arm reassuringly and left us alone.

I pulled her down so she was sitting next to me, grabbing her hand roughly in mine. "Al, I will be fine. You should be able to have e a good time without worrying about me."

"I always worry about you though, Bella, you know that. I love you." She pulled me into a bone-crushing hug before promptly leaving the sofa and skipping out of the room with just one weary glance in my direction.

And then I was all alone. And fuck me if it didn't feel amazing.

Never before had I sat on a sofa with a tub of ice cream and a movie without any worries of _him_ arriving home to tell me to "watch my weight" or, "turn that shit off, the games on."

So I settled my pyjama-clad ass down and started watching one of Jasper's war movies. I finished off the Ben and Jerry's at a rapid pace. A serious attack of brain freeze was not welcomed.

I woke up with a start when I heard keys twisting in the front door. I glanced over at the clock: ten-thirty. I had dozed off. Huh, they were home really early. I rubbed my sleepy eyes and picked up the discarded cookie dough carton and headed towards the kitchen to throw it in the trash.

I turned towards the footsteps that were entering the kitchen behind me. "Hey guys, why so ea—" I paused, confused. "Um... Who the fuck are you?" I asked the strange man that stood looking dazed in front of me.

_Dazed and completely fucking perfect._

"I'm Edward. Who the fuck are you?" He smirked.

_Uh-oh._

"I'm Bella. Uhh... So are you like, a creepy robber or something? Or do you have a set of keys for a less scary reason?" I cocked my eyebrow, gesturing towards the front door.

He plonked the overnight bag that was slung over his broad shoulders onto the linoleum, looking very rebel-without-a-cause in his leather jacket and ripped jeans.

"No, I'm not a 'creepy robber,'" He said, making air-quotes. "I'm actually a really good friend of Jasper's. He lets me stay here, uh... When I need to." He rustled his long fingers through his unruly bronze hair, looking nervous.

"Oh right, okay. Well I'm a friend of Alice's and I'm staying here right now because... Well that doesn't really matter so, ummm..." I was babbling. He had reduced me to a babbling mess with his glossy green eyes.

So I didn't continue to look like a complete idiot I quickly composed myself. "So that's a pretty big overnight bag. How long are you planning on staying, Edward?"

He tilted his head to one side, his eyes curious. "How long are _you_ planning on staying? I hope you're not in _my_ bed." He smirked again, pulling off his jacket to reveal a grey t-shirt. It fit him snugly, revealing how muscular his chest was.

_Lord have mercy_.

He walked over to the fridge, pulling out a beer. "Want one?" He asked.

"Uh sure, why not." I took the bottle out of his hand, our fingers brushed briefly.

"So Bella, are you going to stand in here all night or are you gonna come sit with me?" He questioned cockily, walking towards the living room.

I snapped out of my bemused state and waddled behind him. He sat in the armchair; I took my place opposite him on the sofa.

"What's your story then Bella?" He fiddled with the label on his beer bottle, not meeting my eyes.

"I think we're probably going to need a few more beers." I sighed.

He raised his eyes to mine, a huge, dazzling smile breaking out across his face. "Well I _do_ have all night."

"So yeah, that's what happened. And before you say you're sorry or ask me if I'm okay the answers are, please don't be and I'm fine." I smiled, taking a swig of my fifth beer.

We were side by side on the sofa now, MTV was on quietly in the background and Edward was staring at me, his mouth forming a little 'o' shape. I wanted to lick it.

_Focus Bella, you just told him you shot your evil husband because he was trying to kill you._

He raised his eyebrows, letting out a long 'pshhhh' sound before reaching over to the coffee table and cracking open his seventh beer. "Well Bella, I'm proud of you. That nasty prick had it coming by the sound of it." He shrugged.

I stared at him in awe. He was fine with it?

I shook off my amazement and got down to the question asking. I had answered all of his for the past hour; now it was my turn.

"Wow. Thanks? I think." I laughed nervously. "So now you, what's the story?"

He looked down, his eyes flickering up at me from under his lashes, the tiniest hint of a smirk on his face. "It all seems pretty trivial after hearing what happened to you."

"Oh come on Edward, don't be a pussy." I objected.

He let out a beautiful laugh, shaking his head at me. "Okay, basically, I live with my girlfriend, Katy. Who, by the way, I despise. We fight _all_ the time," He looked at me wearily. "Not... Fight, fight. Like... Shouting uh—ah shit. Sorry."

I swallowed another mouthful of beer, shrugging it off and waving him to continue.

He let out a deep breath. "Yeah so, we fight and fight and hate each other and I always end up here. I stay for a few days, she'll call and I'll go back. It's a vicious circle of misery basically."

"Do you love her?"

He shook his head very certainly.

"So why don't you leave her?" I asked, unable to curb my curiosity. I realized I was leaning toward him.

His eyes locked with mine, "Because I'm afraid of being alone." His voice was almost a whisper.

I put my hand on his without thinking, he didn't startle at the contact.

"I'll be alone with you." I said softly.

"I'd like that." He smiled. I felt my cheeks flame.

His free hand lifted up and his soft fingertips lightly brushed over my bruised neck. The voice inside my head told me to cower away from his touch but my body was telling me it wanted more. Every nerve was alive, burning for this beautiful man. Yet I still flinched slightly, causing him to quickly pull his hand away, an apologetic look on his face. I wasn't used to being touched so gently by a man; it was wonderfully terrifying and comforting.

"I'm sorry I—I wasn't thinking Bella... I'm so sorry. Ugh, fucking idiot" He mumbled, cursing himself.

I grabbed his hand, pulling both of them into my lap and interlacing our fingers. It felt nice, safe.

"It's okay. It was just unexpected. I'm... I'm not used to being touched like that, that's all." I blushed again, glancing down at our intertwined hands. His thumb was tracing lazy circles on my palm.

"I've never felt this comfortable with anyone this instantly before." He said pointedly.

I nodded lightly. "I feel the same."

He smiled a sad smile, his thumb continuing to caress my hand. "I'm really glad."

We sat side-by-side in an undisturbed silence, our hands still locked, until Alice and Jasper returned home sometime around midnight. Edward dozed off at some point, his head lolling towards me in his sleeping state. Alice eyed us curiously as she stood in front of the sofa.

"Ah, so I see you've met Edward." She raised her eyebrows questioningly, pointing towards our hands.

I smiled at her, giggling as Edward let out a strange snort.

"Be careful with that one Bella, he's damaged goods." She whispered a sad look in her kind eyes.

"Strangely, I can't seem to care." I said, looking at the peaceful face of this beautiful, apparently damaged man.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi Y'all!**  
**Once again thanks to those who reviewed or put me on alert 3**

**Short and kinda sweet this time around.**

**I suggest you all go check out this Laura Marling song, Ghosts.**  
**Her voice is ridiculously amazing.**  
**Youtube link is on my profile :)**

**Jenn...my glittery beta who makes sure I don't sound too British, ILU.  
**

**ENJOY!  
**

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Disclaimer: I don't own these characters...I do own DetailsRob though, at last.

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_Opened up his little heart  
Unlocked the lock that kept it dark  
And read a written warning  
Saying 'I'm still mourning  
Over ghosts  
Over ghosts  
Over ghosts  
Over ghosts that broke my heart before I met you'_

_He says 'I'm so lost,  
Not at all well'  
Do as done and there is nothing left to be  
Turned out I'd been following him and he'd been following me  
Do as done after it was over  
We were just two lovers crying on each others shoulder_

_Ghosts – Laura Marling_

**Chapter Four: Comfort**

My eyes flew open.

I lay gasping for breath in my warm bed for a few minutes, trying to break away from the dream.

Within seconds of me being back to reality, Edward flew into my room looking startled and perfect in his faded white t-shirt and flannel boxers. I looked at him with teary eyes, my heart beginning to slow. He rushed to my side, pulling my hands away from where they were clawing at the sheets.

"It's okay. You're okay. Shhhh." He settled onto the bed next to me, pulling my head onto his chest.

It had been a week since I first met Edward in the kitchen; he had stayed here ever since. We had nightly meetings on the couch, holding hands and sharing our stories. We had bonded over our heartache and I had gained a real friend.

_One I _totally_ don't have sexual feelings for._

For the past four nights, after Edward and I parted with a hug at my door and I settled into a happy slumber, I had been having hideous nightmares.

They were always the same. Daniel was standing over me, not touching me, not talking, just staring. He examined me with such intensity I could feel my skin burning. I couldn't move or scream; I was just stuck underneath his gaze.

I would, annoyingly, awake with a bloodcurdling scream ripping from my chest, followed by gasping and sweating and then Edward coming to soothe me back to sleep with hair stroking and comforting words.

I was incredibly annoyed at myself. Why was I having stupid dreams about my dead husband? I was fine in reality; I was finally living in the city surrounded by friends. I was finally free and happy but obviously my subconscious still felt trapped.

_I should probably see a psychiatrist about that shit._

The four of us were sitting at the dining table eating some delicious Chinese take-out when Jasper decided to piss-off a perfectly happy Edward for no apparent reason.

"So Masen, when are you going to go get your shit from your girlfriend's place? I'm getting bored of your one pair of jeans. Plus, isn't it around this time you get back together with crazy Katy?" He scoffed, not even bothering to raise his head from his meal.

Edward scowled into his chow-mein and muttered "poufy-haired prick" under his breath before dropping his fork loudly onto the plate.

"_Fine_. I'll go tomorrow but you're coming with me Swan." He wiggled a long finger at me and smirked.

"I knew that was coming." I said, grimacing.

"Edward, you can't drag Bella into the witch's den! You should deal with her alone, make it easier for everyone." Alice huffed, folding her arms across her chest childishly.

"Alice..." Jasper warned.

"Alice it's really fine, I want to be there for him." I waved her off, trying to deter the outburst I knew was coming.

Edward growled at her before violently pushing his chair back and strutting out of the room, flipping the bird over his shoulder in the general direction of the table.

I frowned at Alice, shoving my plate away. "Now look what you've done. Every fucking night Al! What's your problem?" I pushed myself away from the table, "He thinks you don't want him here. He's supposed to be your friend, some support would be appreciated!" I turned and walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs to Edward's room.

I knocked on the door lightly, pushing it open on his answer. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, head in hands. He looked up at me; his eyelashes were wet.

"Oh Edward, its all okay. I'll come with you, I won't let her lure you back in I promise." I assured him, sitting carefully at his side.

He nodded slowly, covering his face with his hands again.

I rubbed his shoulder gently. I hated seeing him upset but sadly, it was a common occurrence when it came to mentioning Katy. She had manipulated and hurt him for years but he always ended up going back to her out of the pure fear of being alone. He had no family here as far as I knew and he wouldn't talk about them. Also, from what I saw, Alice and Jasper weren't exactly a stellar support system.

"I'm going to get my pj's on now. Can you hold yourself together for two minutes?"

"Um... Yeah. Thanks Bella." He looked up at me and smiled; it didn't reach his eyes.

I shuffled across the hall to my room, grabbing my trusty tank top and shorts and going into the bathroom to change and brush my teeth.

I went back into Edward's room to find him lying back on his bed, arms behind his head. He had changed into his t-shirt and boxer short combo. A tiny sliver of skin was peeking from under the hem of his tattered shirt. My mouth watered.

_Focus for fucks sake! _

I made a running jump towards him, landing on the bed with a bounce. He snapped out of his little daydream and started poking me in the ribs.

"What the fuck, Swan? Are you trying to give me a heart attack at twenty-five?" He laughed, continuing to assault my poor ribs with his long fingers.

I squealed and squirmed, trying to free myself from his clutches.

There was a loud throat-clearing in the doorway, causing us to abruptly end our play fighting session. We sat up to find a rather timid looking Alice gazing at us.

"So, Edward, look, we're really um... Sorry how we acted back there. We love you and really want you to be happy and you can stay as long as you want okay?" She gave him a hopeful nod and a cheesy smile.

Edward and I exchanged a brief conspiratorial look. I smiled at him, encouraging him to be nice.

"Um, thanks Alice. That means ah... A lot. Thank you." He said sincerely.

"Right! I'll leave you two to go back to your, um... Foreplay?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, gracefully turning on her heel and closing the door behind her.

Blood flooded my cheeks and I kept my eyes focused on my lap. Edward's finger lifted my chin to meet his gaze; his eyes were wide and breathtaking. In that moment it was as if my world, which had been upside down for a long time, seemed to settle into its rightful place.

As I looked into Edwards shining, happy eyes I felt like I had a real purpose. Nothing else mattered but that I needed to stay with him, protect him.

"Bella I've never needed anyone so much in my entire life. You make me feel safe, I hope you feel the same."

I didn't realize I was crying until I had to blink away the tears so I could see his perfect face. His hands cradled my face gently, his face bending towards mine slowly.

My heart was beating out of my chest.

_He's going to fucking kiss you._

"Is this... Okay?" He whispered, his face so close I could feel his breath brush over my lips.

I nodded, being unable to form words. I licked my lips.

He kissed me tenderly, carefully. I forgot where I was, what had happened and why; only knowing that this beautiful man was kissing me and that I never wanted it to end.

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**Awwwhhhhh!**  
**Witch is next chapter...REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 5

_Oh my tears are falling down as I try to forget  
Her love was a joke from the day that we met  
All of the words, All of the men  
All of my pain when I think back to when  
Remember her hair as it shone in the sun  
The smell of the bed when I knew what she'd done  
Tell yourself over and over you won't ever need her again_

_Don't fool yourself  
She was heartache from the moment that you met her  
My heart feels so still  
As I try to find the will to forget her somehow_

_Oh I think I've forgotten her now._

_Jeff Buckley – Forget Her  
_

**Chapter Five: Betrayal**

"_Is this... Okay?" He whispered, his face so close I could feel his breath brush over my lips._

_I nodded, being unable to form words. I licked my lips._

_He kissed me tenderly, carefully. I forgot where I was, what had happened and why; only knowing that this beautiful man was kissing me and that I never wanted it to end. _

_I expected something drastic to happen. Like I would burst into tears or run away but there was no other place I wanted to be other than right here in Edward's arms. _

_I felt safe. Edward wasn't going to hurt me. He was the guy who had held my hand in his sleep the first night we met. The guy who stroked my hair softly until the nightmares that woke me disappeared. _

_He pulled away from the kiss, brushing his fingers through my hair, leaving a tingle across my scalp. Our foreheads were pressed together._

"_Bella?" He swallowed thickly, his eyes closed._

"_Mmm?" _

"_You're perfect." A small smirk played across his mouth, his eyes finally opening to meet mine._

_

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_

I needed to pee so badly. Edward was breathing softly onto my collar bone, his one arm laid across my stomach, pinning me to his bed. I didn't want to disturb him, he looked so peaceful. And Lord knows this day will be difficult for him. My demon was dead; his was in an apartment in Brooklyn.

I could smell coffee and bacon and my mouth started to water. I carefully pried myself from under Edward's heavy sleeping form and crept down the hall into the kitchen.

"I'll have bacon, toast with butter and a milky coffee with three sugars please!" I patted Jasper on the head as he stood over the stove before running back out of the door to make a quick dash for the bathroom.

"Comin' right up, B!" Jasper yelled after me.

After relieving my poor bladder I brushed my teeth, tamed my messy bed-head and wiped the remains of yesterday's mascara from under my eyes.

_Goodbye homeless-chic._

When I returned to the kitchen Edward, Jasper and Alice were all sitting around the table in silence. Edward was pushing his scrambled eggs around his plate, his bronze hair sticking up everywhere in a ridiculous but adorable manner. Jasper was cheerily reading the newspaper while Alice glared at my smiley face.

"Stop that. It's annoying this early in the morning," she huffed, pointing her fork in my direction.

Edward quickly whipped his head around when Alice acknowledged my presence, a beautiful smile lighting up his face. He patted the seat next to him and I promptly sat down. His hand made itself at home on my thigh.

Alice was watching us intently, her brow knitted.

"You'll need Botox at twenty-seven if you keep all that frowning up Miss Brandon." I sighed, shaking my head mockingly.

"Ha! Funny one aren't you Miss Swan." She smirked.

We proceeded to eat our breakfast in happy silence, Edward's hand stayed on my knee and Alice continued to watch our every move.

Alice hugged me goodbye as she left for work. She whispered something in Edward's ear as she passed, giving him a knowing look.

"Good luck today B, you'll need it," Jasper said, kissing the top of my head before following Alice out of the front door.

I looked at Edward questioningly. He sighed and slapped my leg.

"You have no_ idea_ what you're getting yourself into today. Alice was just giving me a polite warning." A faint smile crossed his lips.

"I hate to burst your bubble but I'm really not scared." I shrugged.

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief, flashing me a wide, wicked grin.

"Then you are a brave woman, Bella Swan," he said in a pretty decent British accent, gesturing for me to follow him out of the room.

I headed down the hall to my room to change out of yesterday's clothes. I laid out a few different outfit choices on the bed. I wasn't really sure what would be appropriate attire to wear whilst helping a guy you occasionally make out with break-up with his psycho girlfriend who may or may not be really scary.

I gave up quickly, knowing I was over thinking things. I threw on a comfy flannel shirt, a pair of black jeans and my army boots. I kept it simple in the make-up and hair department. I had a feeling I would feel inadequate next to the infamous Katy no matter what I did to beautify myself. I mean, she _did_ manage to bag a guy like Edward.

I walked back into the hall and pulled on my jacket. Edward met me at the door and grabbed my hand, his palm was sweaty.

"Are you okay?" I looked up at him, nudging him in the side with my elbow.

He grinned tightly. "Yeah, I think so. Just… Don't leave me okay? After this... Today. Don't leave." He whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward." I reached up on my tiptoes and placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

Edward hailed a cab when we got down to the street, following me around to my side to open my door.

The ride was silent; conversation seemed impossible when he was this wound up. He gave the cab driver directions and we came to the end of a side-road. Edward immediately grew instantly tense. I reached out to place my hand on his shoulder to try and calm him but he startled at my touch.

"I'm sorry Bella... I'm just really freaking out right now." He grabbed my hand and kissed the tips of my fingers tenderly, his emerald eyes burning into mine.

I smiled lightly and nodded, encouraging him to get out of the cab. I threw our money at the driver and we exited onto the peaceful street.

There were rows of beautiful brownstones lining either side of the road; obviously some had been turned into apartments much like Alice and Jasper's. Others were untouched.

Children were cycling in circles at the far end and an elderly lady sat on her porch reading a book. It was all very perfect.

Then there was Edward. He stood in front of one of the reddish-brown buildings, hands in pockets and toes tapping against the pavement.

I stood next to him, impatiently waiting for him to move or say something.

"Um... Edward? You should really just get this over with. Whatever it is... Just do it." I encouraged.

He turned to face me, placing his hands on my shoulders. He leaned in, his face inches from mine.

"Okay... Now," he breathed, his incredible smell disturbing my thought process.

"Right—" I gulped. "—Come on then."

He nodded, releasing his grip on my shoulders and directing me up the steps to the front door. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Fuck I need a cigarette..." He spun around.

"No Edward... Go." I pushed him back.

His shaky hand reached up and pounded on the door twice. I heard footsteps padding towards us from inside the house. Edward seemed to stop breathing, his eyes zoning in on mine. He stepped to angle himself between me and what was coming.

"I'm just— I'm sorry okay?" He muttered fiercely before casting his gaze back upon the door.

It opened quickly and we were met with possibly the most striking woman I had ever seen. Her hair was longer than mine, sitting just past her ribcage, and a startling shade of red. Her eyes were sharp; a piercing blue and they shifted restlessly between me and Edward. Her movements were incredibly fluid and cat-like. She wore a pair of black leggings paired with a long, flowery top that fell past her hips.

She seemed to be carefully taking Edward's defensive stance. It felt like we stood there for hours before she finally spoke.

"Have you fucked her?" She whispered; her eyes watery with tears.

"Katy... _Don't._" Edward hissed in warning.

"No, Edward. I will." Her words were still merely a whisper, her face the picture of calm. Only the tears falling down her cheeks gave her sadness away. Her eyes still flicked edgily between us.

"No. I haven't _fucked_ her and her name is Bella."

At the mention of my name she turned to face me and I was instantly intimidated by everything about her. She couldn't seem to keep her eyes away from my face anymore than I could keep mine from hers.

There was tension rolling off her, her fingernails dug into her palms. Tears still trickled from her eyes.

She continued to wordlessly study me, her eyes raking up and down my body before she jerked her chin towards Edward.

"Well I guess you better come in then," she snarled, glaring at him before wiping her wet cheeks with the back of her hand. She gestured for us to enter the house. Edward led the way into the living room, eyeing me apologetically. I smiled weakly at him, a reassurance that I wasn't going anywhere.

We sat down on the comfy sofa. I took in my surroundings carefully; the house was warm and inviting, not at all like its cold owner. I shivered, feeling Katy's icy gaze on my back.

She glided over to Edward, placing herself on his lap like it was the most casual thing in the world. I felt a twinge of wonder before jealousy took over.

_Keep your cool Swan..._

Katy started running her fingers through Edward's hair. "She'll never love you like I do," she cooed, her voice almost hypnotic.

"She'll never understand you. Won't be able to deal with your issues like me... You know this Edward." She stroked his face, completely ignoring my presence.

_Bitch is crazy._

Edward shifted uncomfortably, his gaze still locked on mine. His hands were balled into fists at his side.

She turned his face forcefully towards her, trying to tear his eyes away from me. Her gaze zeroed in on me.

"You can't take him away from me." She smiled creepily. Her beauty was suddenly very warped by her obvious madness.

"Bella, I want you to go upstairs into the first bedroom and grab anything that looks like it belongs to me. There's a suitcase in the closet." Edward said softly.

Katy's jaw tightened; she immediately tensed up and looked poised to attack. Edward swiftly grabbed her wrists in his hands and held her tightly as she struggled against his grip.

"Go." He nodded towards the stairs.

I walked quickly out of the room and up to the first bedroom. There was shit everywhere; clothes, shoes, documents, pill bottles, vodka bottles. I flung open the closet door and spotted a large black suitcase nestled in the corner. I dragged it out and proceeded to pull any items that may have belonged to Edward off of hangers and out of drawers.

I heard a gut-wrenching scream come from the downstairs, followed by a series of cries and crashes. Edward was still silent.

I wondered briefly if I should stop and rush to see if everything was okay but decided the sane thing to do would be to just carry on and get the fuck out of this place. I continued with my suitcase stuffing.

When I was satisfied I had grabbed most of his stuff, I zipped up the case and dragged it towards the stairs. I bumped into something as I tried to cross the hall; I looked up to see a huge, topless man staring down at me.

"Fuck!" I screeched.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward called.

"Um... It would appear Katy has some company!" I shouted, smiling timidly at the dark-haired muscle man that was still looking at me questioningly.

His eyes were totally glazed over; he was quite obviously pretty high. He scratched his chest and grunted.

_So crazy Katy keeps cavemen as company? Huh..._

Edward was rushing up the stairs within seconds, Katy a blubbering mess behind him.

"Jacob." Edward nodded, acknowledging the monstrosity beside me.

"Edward!" A flash of recognition crossed Jacob's face. "Dude, it's so good to see ya!" He shouted, punching Edward lightly on the shoulder.

Katy was now standing next to Jacob in a protective stance. She looked pretty concerned, her shifty eyes once again darting between everyone. She let out a serious of pathetic sniffles; her bottom lip trembling.

"Edward... It's not what you think." She giggled nervously.

"Save it." Edward hissed. "I've heard it all before just— save it." He reached out and grabbed the suitcase from me.

"Come on, Bella," he snapped, rushing me downstairs and out of the house.

The last thing I heard before Edward slammed the front door was an ear-splitting scream.

_What the fuck?_

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** Big ups to Jenn (robssexhair) for telling me when I'm being too British...again. ILU gurl xxx**

**Next chapter has just been sent off to be beta'd & will hopefully be posted by Friday. It's my favorite thing I've ever written I think...**

**Reviews are love!**_  
_


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm incredibly anal when it comes to my writing but I'm incredibly proud of this chapter**  
**I hope you all like it x x x**

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_Pick me up in your arms  
Carry me away from harm  
you're never gonna put me down_

_I've been running all my life  
I ran away, I ran away from good  
Yeah, I've been waiting all my life  
You're not a day, you're not a day too soon_

_Sia - Day Too Soon_

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**Chapter Six: Better**

There was no doubt about it; I was freaked the fuck out.

The cab journey home was silent and tense. I worried for Edward; he simply sat tugging at his messy hair, eyes closed and muttering words I didn't understand.

I knew nothing about Katy before I'd entered her home but I was pretty sure I was about to find out more than I wanted to. That was not normal behaviour and I was completely baffled.

We arrived back at the apartment. Edward threw money at the driver before hastily exiting the cab and storming up the steps and through the front door.

_I'll get the case then..._

The driver helped me drag the bulky suitcase into the hallway, looking at me with pity in his eyes. I gave him a shy smile before closing and locking the door.

I found Edward pacing in the living room, all of his easy grace lost in his frustration. His hands pulling at his hair, his jaw clenched and rigid; I've never seen him look so beautiful. The passion that was exuding from him was breathtaking.

I sat silently, wanting to soothe and comfort him but at the same time, selfishly, not wanting to disturb his stunning rage.

He suddenly stopped right in front of me, standing with tense shoulders and clenched teeth. Oddly, I was not intimidated; even though he looked positively terrifying.

"Why?" He said belligerently, all flexing muscles and smouldering eyes.

_This shouldn't be turning me on..._

I licked my lips, regaining my focus.

"What, Edward? Please... Sit down, you're worrying me," I whispered.

"Why do you like me so much Bella? I'm not... Good. I'm not a good person."

"Edward, you _are_ a good person," I said incredulously, shaking my head in wonder at his self-deprecation. "Please just... Sit." I patted the couch cushion to my right, motioning him to join me.

He looked at me wearily and placed himself at my side, so close there wasn't even a millimetre between our bodies. I could feel the warmth exuding off of him.

I crossed my legs up onto the cushions, turning my whole body to face him. I placed my hand on top of his which were clasped tightly in his lap.

His eyes stayed focused on our touching hands, his faltering breaths slowly returning to normal. I caught a stray tear escaping down his cheek before he turned and wiped it away on his shoulder.

"You are the most perfect, charming, kind, most beautiful and compassionate man I have ever met," I said fiercely, grabbing his chin in my free hand and willing him to look at me.

He glanced up at me through his lashes, a frown crumpling his forehead; I smoothed the creases out with my fingers softly, shaking my head.

"Hey, I'm an expert on this shit okay? Remember... I lived with, possibly, the vilest son-of-a-bitch to ever walk the earth." I laughed nervously, dipping my head to try and meet his gaze.

Finally, his emerald eyes rose to meet mine, a delicious smirk crossing his lips.

"I'm sorry, I just... She makes me like that." He waved his hand towards where he had been pacing a hole in the floorboards. "Fuck... I need a smoke." He sighed.

He stood up, taking my hand in his and pulling me off the couch and into a tight hug.

"Come on," he placed a quick kiss on the top of my head, "you're coming with me."

We sat on the fire escape stairs, Edward's free hand holding mine securely. The sun was just setting over the city, his hair a luscious shade of auburn under its dwindling rays. Thick clouds of smoke escaped his mouth, a cigarette hanging from his perfect lips. I'd never smoked, not even once, but he made it look so tempting.

Everything this man did was effortless. He turned even a fit of rage into something elegant. How could he want to spend time with such a clumsy, inexperienced woman like myself?

Even through her craziness I could see Katy was very different to me. She was strikingly beautiful, the kind of woman who you stopped to stare at as she passed you in the street. She carried herself with grace and fluidity. She was someone who just simply fitted next to Edward Masen.

He flicked the butt of the cigarette onto the street below, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and tilting his head at me questioningly.

"Earth to Bella, is anyone in there?" He snapped his fingers in front of my face.

I was probably staring, mouth-agape and drool trickling down my chin. I coughed, dragging myself out of my daydream and smiling apologetically. I felt my cheeks flush.

_Caught red-handed Swan..._

"Sorry." I cringed, chewing on my lip.

He licked his lips, my eyes following the gesture.

"Bella, can I... I _need_ to kiss you." He breathed, moving as close as he could possibly get. He smelled musky and strong and _Edward._

His hand cupped my chin, tilting my face up to meet his. His lips descended toward mine slowly, his eyes stayed locked on my face.

He carefully pressed his supple lips to mine, coaxing them open with the tip of his tongue, igniting that electric current that often flowed between us. Suddenly, our movements became untamed, hands grabbed at hair and necks and fistfuls of clothing. He pushed me back into the wall, my nails dug into his solid shoulders, neither of us coming up for air.

I _ached_ all over as his body pressed into mine, he was hard.

_I_, Bella, made Edward_ hard._

I felt the bricks digging into my exposed back where he had my shirt pulled up, his hands roaming over my skin desperately. My whole body was practically vibrating. I was completely consumed by this delectable man.

He finally left my mouth, only to drag his hot tongue along my clavicle, travelling up my neck and along my jaw. My breath came out in heavy pants; I would have been embarrassed at the ridiculous noises coming from my mouth if I wasn't so fucking turned on.

"Fuck Bella," he growled into my neck, he sounded just as breathless as I felt.

We both stood there, hands still twisted underneath shirts, bodies still pressed tightly together, flushed and panting.

He slowly pulled away from me and I let out a quiet whimper at the loss of pressure at the juncture of my thighs. His hands straightened out my rumpled clothing and removed my fingers from out of the waistband of his jeans.

He raked his fingers through his hair, letting out a low whistle.

"If we didn't stop... I don't want it to happen like that Bella." He looked at me with adoring eyes, brushing a stray strand of hair behind my ear and brushing his thumb along my swollen lips.

I grabbed his hand and pressed it into my cheek, planting a chaste kiss into his palm.

"Me either. That was... Intense," I smirked, "It's never been like this for me before."

He pulled me flush against his chest, his strong arms encircling me.

"I feel the same you know. I'm just... I'm sorry about today Bella. I wish I never took you with me but I'm so glad you were there you know?" He said softly.

"What's wrong with her Edward?" I said, sadness lacing my words.

He let out a heavy breath, "Shitloads would be the simple answer but... There's a lot more to it I guess." He sat down on the windowsill, pulling me down to sit on his lap.

I stroked his face as he spoke, trying to soothe away the tension he emitted when he spoke of his damaged ex.

"I met her in high school... She was the most beautiful girl in the whole damn school but no one ever went near her. She kept herself to herself and I was entranced by her. I eventually got her to trust me enough and we became friends, then lovers." He shook his head slowly, a sad look crossing his face.

"Her parents coddled her and kept her from socialising because they were scared of what people would think of her, of them. They told themselves she acted the way she did because she was a teenage girl. She did cocaine; she was depressed to the point where she tried to kill herself at least once a month." He paused, looking me dead in the eye. "I found her once. It was year after we graduated, our 3-year anniversary, we had finally got a place of our own and I walked into the bathroom and..." His eyes clenched shut, tears spilling from the corners. I kissed them away.

"Edward... You don't have to—"

"No, I do," he interrupted, nodding lightly.

He took a deep breath. "I walked into the bathroom and she was lying in the bathtub, she wasn't moving, breathing...Anything. I spotted the mirror lying on the counter; she must have cleaned out a whole baggie. She was so tiny, it was too much for her to handle. I lived with her and I had no idea she was using again; I thought that shit was over. I thought I made her happy... That she had stopped."

"So... Does she still do it? All this time, is that why she is how she is?" I questioned, confused as to how this tiny, delicate woman had managed to survive after all these years of drug abuse.

He shook his head, swallowing thickly, "No. She's schizophrenic and depressed constantly. The mood swings she used to have, fuck, they would be the reason I would leave. She just wasn't Katy anymore. I couldn't handle it anymore Bella...The drugs, the anxiety." A heart-breaking sob ripped through his chest.

I held him as tight as my body would allow, whispering soothing words into his ear as he cried into my chest. Was it possible he was more broken than me?

"Shh, it's okay Edward. You did the right thing. Why did you leave the last time? The night we met..."

He sniffled and let out a muffled laugh, his head rising from my chest.

"I got home from visiting my parents, I told her I'd be gone all night but I got into a fight with my Dad so I got back early and..." He started laughing, shaking his head incredulously.

"Jacob... She was doing lines off the coffee table while he fucked her from behind. That's why I left that night. By that point, I was done caring." He continued to laugh, I thrilled to the sound.

He placed a quick kiss on my lips. "I have you now though, right?" He looked at me expectantly.

"Yes, Edward. You have me...All of me. I won't hurt you like she did," I promised.

"I think I would be incredibly unhappy if it wasn't for you, beautiful girl." He exhaled, his shoulders finally relaxing.

He stared into my eyes until the moon illuminated his pale skin, making him seem as otherworldly as he made me feel.

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**Sigh**.

**Review my lovelies 3**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here _it _*ahem* comes.**

**Enjoy x**

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**Chapter 7: Passion**

It had been three weeks since our visit with Katy. She had bombarded Edward with voice-mails, texts and e-mails. She would be high, crying, blissful, angry, and sometimes completely silent. The amount of calls he received on any given day were starting to waver and slowly became less persistent.

I had finally started looking for an apartment in the city, preferably something close to Alice and Jasper. I still didn't have the confidence to look for a job because, truthfully, I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do with my life. During my marriage I had only been allowed to be a bored housewife.

I had gained a hefty amount of money from selling the marital home that Daniel had purchased for us. I also sold all the furniture, although I'd rather have burned it. He surprisingly left me everything in his will. His parents died years ago and he had no siblings to pass his wealth onto. Therefore I became a very rich, very ungrateful widow.

Edward accompanied me everywhere. We hadn't kissed or acted particularly intimate since our moment of passion on the fire escape, but Edward acted like I was the only thing in the world that mattered to him. He held doors open, and almost constantly had his hand placed on the small of my back. It was impossible for me to decipher what we were, or if he even wanted me to be more than a friend. We also continued to sleep in the same bed. Alice doesn't agree and thinks we're weird, but I guess I'm okay with that.

Through all the affection I still felt like he was highly unattainable; the beautiful, kind, funny and caring man who was constantly at _my_ side. Was he going to realize that I really wasn't worth all this attention? The penny had to drop soon…right?

* * *

Saturday morning I was unfairly woken by a husky-voiced asshole.

"Bellaaaa."

I groaned, my body automatically seeking the warmth of his, nuzzling my cheek into his neck as he tried to coax me awake.

"Wake up sleepy girl," he whispered.

His smell filled my senses, it was delicious; all mint and sneaky morning cigarette. I named it _'Eau de Morningward' . _

I felt his fingertips on my face. My lashes fluttered open and I was met with my usual glorious messy bronzed hair and green-eyed boy. The New York skyline had nothing on this view.

"There she is," he smirked.

I groaned some more, stretching my limbs trying to get rid of the sleepy ache.

"Don't wanna…more sleep needed. Ugh." I grunted, nestling my face back into the crook of his neck.

"Do I have to get Alice again? Come on Bella, it's nearly ten!" He proceeded to poke me in the ribs.

"Okay, okay! I'm moving," I mumbled, swatting his prodding fingers away. I dragged myself out of the comfort of Edwards' warm sheets and directly into a hot shower.

When I returned to his room, freshly showered and dressed, Edward was sitting on the edge of his bed looking…thoughtful.

I frowned, sitting at his side and brushing my hands through his unkempt hair.

"Fuck," he mumbled, smiling. "That feels nice."

"What are you thinking?"

He rubbed his eyes, turning to look at me, "I was thinking how much I'd like to take you on a date this evening." He smirked.

_Gulp._

"Um…" I cleared my throat, "A date? Like…a real date? Uhh…just you and me?"

He chuckled, obviously enjoying me being a stammering wreck. "Yes, Bella. You, me and a nice restaurant."

I licked my lips, a huge, moronic grin sneaking onto my face.

"Yes!" I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck. He returned the embrace, burying his face in my hair.

"I thought it was about time I asked." He sighed.

"Long overdue if you ask me, Masen."

I pulled back to see a smug ass grin plastered on his face.

I had and incredible feeling that today would be a _really _good day.

* * *

Edward and Jasper decided to spend the day trying to sort out a few more apartments for me to view on Monday. Meanwhile, I was stuck with an overly enthusiastic Alice.

It would appear that Edward had told her he was planning on taking me out on a '_real date' _and she was just dying to make me look like a hooker.

"Alice! NO! I am not wearing this," I huffed, throwing the offending brown dress at her head.

"Why?" She growled, folding her arms like a child who didn't get their own way.

"It's disgusting. That's why. It's the color of dirt for fucks sake!"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Well I thought it matched your eyes."

"Right…so, my eyes are dirt-colored?" I mimicked her defensive stance.

Her perfect little eyebrow lifted, a sly grin across her lips.

I threw my hands up in defeat. "Come on Al, you know you're shit at dressing anyone but yourself."

"Fine. We'll settle on your second choice, even if it does bore the crap outta me. Deal?" She spun toward the closet, grabbing the fitted black t-shirt dress we _kind of _agreed on.

I pulled it on, pairing it with a pair of Alice's black Louboutin pumps. It was v-neck and showed just the right amount of cleavage and short so it showed a _whole_ lotta leg. I kept the hair simple and the makeup sexy. I felt like I looked good, like _really_ good, for the first time in years.

"Damn girl! I'd hit it!" Alice hollered, touching me inappropriately.

"Fuck off will you!" I grinned, swatting her paws away from my ass.

I started to bite my nails; it was 7:50, ten minutes until I had to meet him in the kitchen.

_Fuck, _I was nervous.

"Alice, shit! I haven't been on a date since fucking high school!" I moaned.

She slapped at my hands. "Stop with the gnawing! You'll have man hands."

"You'll be fine, I promise," She gave me a reassuring smile, placing a tiny arm around my shoulder, "I know I've said shit about Edward in the past but really, he's a good guy who needs someone like you to help him along." She took a deep breath, "I've just got this _feeling_ that it's all going to work out for you from now on Bella."

I grinned. "I hope so. We'll see I guess."

Alice brushed a stray hair away from my face before clapping like an excitable fan girl. "Okay maestro! Let's get your hot little ass delivered to Eddie!"

"Don't call him that Alice!" I giggled, "You know he despises it."

"Oh, but I do love to tease." She beamed.

My best friend was impossible. And also impossible to dislike.

_That bitch._

* * *

I made my way to the kitchen, trying not to fall in these damn death-trap heels.

What I saw made me stop dead in my tracks.

Edward stood in the doorway, dressed in black pants, a grey button-down shirt and his ever-present leather jacket. He had even replaced his black Dr. Martens with a pair of dress shoes. _Holy crap _he looked good.

As usual, his hair had a mind of its own. There was no taming those bad boy locks. He had a days worth of stubble, making his jaw look even more angular than normal.

_This is Edward, did you know they use his jaw to cut right-angles?_

"You're _so_ beautiful." He grinned, his dark eyes raking up and down my body.

I blushed furiously, still not being able to move.

_He thinks I'm beautiful._

"Uh…" I coughed, "You…you look not so, um…_shit!_"I threw him an apologetic look and took interest in a piece of cotton that was stuck on my dress.

Edward walked towards me, his fingers pulling my chin up to look at him.

"Bella," he shook his head. "Relax okay? We're gonna have a great time." He smiled softly, caressing my cheek.

"I know, it's just…I haven't done this," I gestured between us. "Since…_him_, and it's scary and wonderful and…I want it to go well."

"It will be perfect. Come on." He placed a quick kiss on top of my head and placed his hand on the small of my back, guiding me out of the front door and into a waiting cab.

* * *

When we arrived at the restaurant, we were shown to our seats by the pleasant, if not a little _too_ excited, hostess. I didn't like the way she looked at Edward and I, like I wasn't good enough for him. Cliché, I know, but I didn't need to feel any more nervous than I already did.

The place was beautiful, flickering candles, crisp white table cloths and a pianist playing calming melodies in the corner. And it was an Italian, my favorite.

We had a delightful little booth away from everyone, I'm sure Edward must have slipped the hostess a nice tip for this particular seat.

My leg was jittering uncontrollably, Edward gave my knee a reassuring squeeze before taking my hand in his while we viewed the menu.

Our waiter came over, taking our order of two glasses of iced water and a bottle of house red.

I ran my hand along his thigh. "So, what will it be?"

"Hmm…I'm thinking mushroom ravioli. You?" He smirked lazily, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger before brushing it behind my ear.

"Sound good to me." I gulped, drinking in his devious expression.

Edward told me about the apartments he and Jasper had found today, adamant that one of them was _the one_. Throughout our meal the conversation flowed. I was significantly more relaxed after two large glasses of the delicious red wine and Edward's constant physical contact; a hand on my leg, a finger drawing lazy circles on my palm, a stolen kiss on the cheek.

I was blissful. It was sickening…In a good way of course.

"So…dessert?" Edward raised his eyebrows in question, making a ridiculous face.

I giggled, shoving him playfully, "You must be kidding, I'm stuffed!"

The eyebrows wiggled suggestively, he got another shove.

He held his hands up in defence. "Cool it, _Swan_! I wasn't going to make any stuffing jokes…I swear!"

"Sure, sure. Like I believe that _Masen." _

We put down the dessert menu and I snuggled myself into Edwards side, his arm resting around me comfortingly. He leaned down, kissing me tenderly and smirking against my lips as my hands instinctively went to his hair.

We waited for the check, my head resting on his shoulder, listening to the piano being played.

"Edward?" I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I wish…" I took a deep breath, "I _really_ wish I'd met you sooner, you know?"

He sighed, stroking my hair, "Me too. More than anything."

I moved, positioning myself so we faced one another, our hands clutched together in his lap.

"I just…I hope I can make you happy, if you'll let me?" I said timidly.

"Bella, you've made me happier in these past few months than _anyone_ has my whole life. I honestly don't know how to live without you, and I don't intend to find out what that's like…ever." He sighed.

* * *

We continued to cuddle all the way home in the cab, a comfortable silence between us.

I had a ridiculous grin plastered on my face by the time we arrived back at the apartment. After Edward told me he doesn't know how to live without me, any feelings of doubt or insecurity that lingered in my mind had vanished. I felt realization that, hopefully, we could really work out.

We hopped up the steps to the apartment building, hand-in-hand, Edward carrying my evil shoes with promises of a foot massage as soon as we got in. Those bitches hurt.

It was only 10:30 but the apartment was in total darkness; no Alice loudly making drinks in the kitchen and no Jasper hollering at whatever late-night sports game he had managed to find.

"Guys? Were home!" I called, flicking on the hallway light.

No answer. Huh, strange.

Edward took his jacket and shoes off, glancing over his shoulder at me as he walked towards the living room.

A few seconds later, he returned carrying a bottle of wine, two glasses and a piece of paper. He had a lazy grin on his face as he shoved the paper into my hands.

I recognized Jasper's elegant handwriting immediately, It read;

_Evenin' kids,_

_Hope your date went well!_

_Taken my little firecracker fiancée out on the town. _

_We won't be back tonight._

_Enjoy a fine beverage and an empty apartment on us. _

_Love Jazz xxx_

I bit my lip, glancing up at Edward who was cocking an eyebrow at me in a seductive manner.

"It would appear we have the apartment to ourselves, Monsieur Masen."

"It would appear so, Mademoiselle Swan."

He slowly placed the bottle of wine on the nearby side table, He gripped my hips and pulled me all the way against him. His lips were ravenous at my collarbone, kissing and nibbling my flushed skin. My body reacted without delay, my hands pressing at the back of his neck, begging for more pressure.

His lips made their way up my neck; I let out a throaty groan just before he slid his tongue seductively against mine, he tasted delicious. I had almost forgotten how much of an amazing kisser he was, our last one a distant memory of a heated moment under a New York sunset all those weeks ago.

He pulled away, resting his forehead on mine.

"Bella," he whispered, "Bedroom."

It wasn't a question. Even if it was, I wouldn't have said no.

I simply stared, unable to form a coherent sentence. I wanted him so badly; I had most definitely never wanted _it_ like this before.

I looked into his emerald eyes, my legs almost failing me under the intensity of his gaze. I breathed even heavier now, swallowing and nodding against his forehead.

"Y-yes…please."

Edward practically pulled me upstairs, our lips never breaking free. We pulled at one another, stumbling into his bedroom. I started popping the buttons on his shirt while he worked his hands up and under my dress.

We both pulled away from the kiss at the same time, gasping for air, the intensity between us crackling in the air. He pushed my dress up past my hips, pausing and obviously admiring my black lacy boy shorts, running his thumb along the brim. A shiver rattled through me and I furiously started to push his shirt back off his shoulders. I lifted my arms, allowing him to free me completely of my dress.

I pretty much ripped the button off his jeans; they swiftly joined the rest of our clothes in a beautiful pile on the floor.

We were now kneeling in front of one another on Edward's bed in just our underwear, taking a silent moment to drink one another in. He was perfect and defined, a small smattering of chest hair between his pecs, I couldn't resist reaching out to touch it.

He was painfully sexy, the sinewy muscles of his arms and abs; his hips cut into a perfect _'V'_.

_Stop fucking drooling._

I chewed on my lip as he was studied my body, tracing every curve and dip. His eyes met mine, darker than I had ever seen them.

"Come here," he whispered huskily, pulling me to him.

I grinned against his lips as he pushed me down onto the bed, lying on top of me.

He started paying attention to my neck as my hand slid its way into his boxers, groaning into my collar bone and pushing himself against my hand.

"Fuck Bella," he panted.

"Off…please." I moaned into his mouth, trying to pry his boxers off his hips.

He growled, kicking them off in one, swift movement before paying attention to getting rid of my underwear, throwing them onto the ever-growing pile.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, digging my heels into his back, begging for pressure, friction…anything.

He finally thrust into me; we gasped against each others lips, fingers clawing and slipping on sweaty skin. He felt so fucking good, unbelievable even. I watched him rock and move on top of me, growing more and more turned on by the second…if that was possible.

His long fingers slipped between our slick bodies, his thumb finding my spot and working up a delicious rhythm while still pushing into me. I threw my head back at the contact, crying out in pleasure. My hands were in his hair, his lips nibbling at my jaw.

I tried to speak, say his name or something, anything, but the words wouldn't come out as I tensed up, biting on his bottom lip.

"Mmm…fuck!" I panted, pushing my hips harder into his, burying him as deep as I could before finally, my release took hold of me; my body tightening and deliciously unwinding over and over. Edward cursed into my skin as he followed with his own shaking release, neither of us able to catch our breath.

He collapsed onto his side, pulling me flush against him. I laid my head on his chest. I could feel his heart practically pounding out of his chest, as I'm sure mine was too.

We laid perfectly still, our breathing growing steady. Edward drew lazy circles on my naked back, still holding my body tightly against his. We slowly came down from our sex high.

"Are you okay?" he whispered into my hair.

"Mmm…more than," I mumbled, nuzzling my face into the hot skin of his jaw.

We turned to look at one another, swollen lips and foreheads glistening with sweat. I lifted my hand to stroke his hair off his forehead.

"Thank you." I grinned smugly.

He leaned down to place a tender kiss on my lips, "You're fucking perfect."

All I could do was smile before snuggling into the crook of his neck. He pulled the sheet over our naked bodies and we drifted into a peaceful, beautiful sleep.

* * *

**Sorry I took so long to update. I was a tad busy with real life and feeling sleepy and uninspired. **

**Thanks, once again, to Jenn for beta'ing this beast. I owe you more sexual favors than I can count on both hands.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Home**

I woke up from a glorious sleep, observing my surroundings. A mixture of our clothing was strewn across the floor, my panties hanging off the knob of the bedside table. I suddenly started to giggle…loudly.

Edward shot up beside me, looking very confused and _very_ freshly fucked.

"What is it? Are you okay?" He said, rubbing his eyes.

"S-sorry…I didn't mean to wake you up," I said through my girlish giggling.

"Why are you laughing like that?" He questioned, looking at me like I was a crazy person.

I bit my lip, blushing slightly. "I don't actually know."

Edward adjusted my body so I was facing him; I blushed harder as I caught wind of the fact that we were both still very naked.

_Holy crap he's beautiful._

He gave me a devastatingly adorable smile, mumbling, "Morning," into my skin while paying very close attention to leaving hot kisses on my neck and shoulders.

"You're delicious, Bella. Do you know that?" He whispered.

My eyes rolled back in my head as he laid me back down onto the pillow, his hands roaming over my breasts and hips.

I barely managed to mumble a reply before his head had disappeared underneath the sheet, his face finding a home between my thighs.

"Um…Edward?" I said, reaching down to tap him on the shoulder.

"Mmhmm?" He replied, I could feel him smiling against my skin.

"W-what do you think you're doing uh…down there?"

His face popped up from under the sheet; he rested his chin on my stomach.

"Se détendre et profiter de ma belle Bella."

_And now he's speaking French. Just…end me._

"I have no idea what that means but it was fucking _hot_ so…continue." I said nervously as his face made its descent back under the sheet.

I let out an embarrassingly loud moan as his perfectly warm and wet tongue found my spot. My hips involuntarily began to rock into his face. It felt like his mouth was sending electric shocks through my body. Lapping, sucking, licking, teasing. I felt _everything _he was doing to me.

He drove his slick tongue into me, eliciting a breathless moan from my lips. His hands grabbed at my ass cheeks, fingers digging in and pulling me closer to his mouth. My hands found his unruly bed-head and pushed down, my fingers tickling across his scalp in approval.

One of his long, delicious fingers pushed inside me. I moaned, feeling his tongue on my clit, faster and faster, again and again. I could only imagine how wet I was for him as he added another finger. My insides wound tight and throbbed, I pulled at his soft hair…hard.

"_Fuck_ Edward!"

He panted, his hot breath rushing over me, making my thighs quiver. My hair was stuck to my face, slick with sweat. Constant shudders traveled through my body as his fingers pumped faster, curling up inside me and brushing _that _spot.

"Shit, shit, _shit_…" I gasped, my back arching as he applied _just_ enough pressure to make me explode blissfully into thousands of little Bella's.

After a few moments of him trying to catch his breath, panting against my thigh, a very smug looking Edward emerged from between my legs.

He dragged himself up my body, his very obvious hardness brushing against my thigh. He rested his arms either side of my head, gazing down upon me and my post-orgasmic glow.

A lazy smirk appeared on his face before he brought two of his delicious digits to his lips, sucking them clean.

_Shit that's sexy._

"Fuck…" he said, shaking his head slowly, "_Look_ at you."

I quirked my eyebrow in question, still not being able to move or speak or…anything.

"You just look _so_ sexy right now," he mumbled, placing a hard kiss on my lips.

I felt high, or drunk, or both. I stretched my arms above my head; he took this as an invitation to cop a feel of my breasts, running his thumbs over my hardened nipples.

"Mmm Edward, that was…amazing," I sighed, my fingers finding their place in his hair once again. "_Good_ morning."

His eyes closed as I tickled his scalp, his head resting on my chest.

We both swiftly fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, before I could even repay the favor.

* * *

"Hey Edwar--_holy crap_!"

We both jumped out of our skin, woken from our midday nap by Jasper barging into Edward's bedroom, one hand promptly covering his eyes.

"Shit! Cover your naked asses up _stat_!"

I fumbled my way out of Edward's arms and pulled the sheet up to my chin, blushing so hard I thought my cheeks were going to melt off.

"For fucks sake Jazz, learn to fucking knock will you?!" Edward chuckled.

I looked at him in disbelief. He wasn't one tiny bit embarrassed; he hadn't even bothered to cover himself up.

"What's going o--_fucking hell _Eddie!" Alice screeched, gesturing at Edward's on-display area. "Put that shit away!"

Jasper quickly covered Alice's eyes with his free hand; she swatted him away.

"Jazz, they're just balls," she huffed.

I scrambled to pull the sheet over Edward's exposed member. I _don't_ want to share that with anyone.

She stalked towards us, stopping a few steps away from the end of the bed.

"So I guess you two aren't '_just friends' _anymore then, huh?" She grinned, her hands resting sassily on her hips.

Edward and I glanced at one another, a dreamy smile on his face as he pulled me into his chest, kissing the top of my head. I blushed harder; if that was possible.

"If she'll have me, I want to never be '_just friends' _ever again."

I looked up into his glowing green eyes, knowing that I could never leave this man's side for as long as I existed.

I nodded, smiling to him and burying my flushed face into his chest.

Alice started a session of jumpy claps and ran towards Jasper, who was still covering his assaulted eyes, and wrapped her arms around his neck. He peeked out between his fingers, checking the coast was clear of balls, and returned her embrace.

"Told you darlin'," he drawled, winking at us over her head.

"Lunch will be ready in fifteen minutes, lovebirds," he said before disappearing out of the door.

Alice stood there staring at us with a weird grin on her face, her hands clasped together under her chin.

We stared at her for a little longer, before she started to creep me out.

"_Alice_…please leave," I moaned.

She snapped out of her daze and flitted out of the room looking like a fairy on crack.

"I _think_ they're happy for us?" I giggled, nuzzling into Edward's warm neck.

His arms tightened around my shoulders. "I…_think_ so?" he chuckled.

* * *

Alice behaved during lunch. She seemed mainly occupied with gazing at her sparkling, 2-carat engagement ring. Her and Jasper had been engaged for a year now and she continuously nagged about setting a date; flashing her wedding book around. It was nauseating.

The two men sat reading the paper, both of their hands resting faithfully on our knees.

It all felt very surreal, one perfect night had changed everything. I was _hopeful_. Edward had helped me bloom into something that I never thought I could be, and now he was truly mine. No more doubting if what flowed between us was real, if it was just fleeting.

"Hey, baby?" Edward said, squeezing my thigh, "Do you wanna see if we can view that apartment I was telling you about today instead of tomorrow?"

I nodded furiously, excited about this beautiful place Edward said he had found for me.

"Okay, I'll go ring the realtor. I hope she works on Sundays." He grinned.

Alice was fidgeting in her seat, glancing between Jasper and myself nervously.

"Al…what is it?" I asked wearily.

"Bella…Jasper and I were wo--"

"_Alice_! Not now!" Jasper cut in, scolding her.

I eyed them, growing worried. "Guys, please. What do you want?"

Jasper sighed, setting down his paper while giving Alice the side-eye.

"Alice and I really love having you and Edward here…you know that right?" He said, taking my hand in his on the tabletop.

Alice nodded at me enthusiastically, Jasper glared at her again.

"It's just, we really haven't lived _alone_ together since we got this place and…we'd _really_ like to experience that before we get married."

Alice took hold of my free hand a little _too_ tightly. "Bella, we _need_ you to take Edward with you when you move out." She sighed, an almost desperate look in her eyes.

I withdrew my hands from theirs hastily, holding them up in defense. "Whoa, guys, that's _a lot _to ask. It's very soon…"

"But Bella, can you really see yourself living alone after…everything? _We_ don't want you to live by yourself; we'd rather that you stayed here." Alice said, grimacing.

"Think of Edward, he wouldn't allow you to be alone either. And, truthfully, I think it's best that _he_ isn't alone too," Jasper said, giving me a knowing look.

I could tell they were truly just looking out for both of us, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't skeptical about having Edward stay with me, even possibly permanently move in with me.

"I'll think about it…I need to speak with him first. You haven't mentioned this to him at all, have you?"

They both shook their heads.

Edward entered the room, his eyes darting between us.

"Uh…we can go now. She's at a viewing a few blocks away, said she'd meet us there." He took one last glance at Alice and Jasper before reaching out to take my hand.

I looked at Alice knowingly, nodding at her and giving her a timid smile, before heading towards my bedroom with Edward.

* * *

By the time we got into the cab, both embarrassingly dressed alike in dark denim jeans, plaid shirts and sneakers, I thought I was going to explode with excitement.

Edward seemed to think I would fall in love with this apartment immediately, and told me to get my cheque book ready because he had no doubts that I would want it.

He held my hand firmly in his in the backseat, whistling to the song on the radio. A cool breeze came through the open window; a beautiful New York afternoon.

"I think you're face is going to stick like that forever if you don't quit smiling like a goof." I smirked.

He turned to look at me over the top of his sunglasses.

"Just excited to see your reaction. If I could marry an apartment, this hot piece of ass would be the one."

"Did you just call an apartment a _hot piece of ass_?"

He nodded proudly, starting his whistling once again.

"Edward?"

"Mmmhmm?" He replied, gazing out of the window.

"Will you uh…would you, when I find a place, want to move in with me?" I asked wearily, biting my lip.

_Shit, shit, shit…_

His head whipped around to face me, his mouth frozen mid-whistle.

"I mean…if you didn't want too I'd totally understand. It's just, I don't want to be alone and I'm_ sure_ you don't either and Alice and Jasper need time alone to be engaged before the wedding an--"

His finger silenced me. "Stop talking, you're blabbering." He smiled lazily.

"Are you sure…are you ready for that? I mean, _fuck yes _I want too, but…really?" he asked, dropping his finger from my lips.

I thought about it for a moment, looking at his face and seeing the hope and excitement there. He wanted this. He wanted _me_.

And _holy crap_ I wanted him back.

I kissed him, humming against his lips.

"A thousand times yes."

A dazzling smile lit up his face, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He was adorable and happy and _mine._

He glanced out of the window, "This is it."

I exited the cab quickly, looking up at the building before me. Even the outside was beautiful, elegant.

I looked over at Edward, a light breeze ruffling through his hair; the sun shining on his perfect, smiling face.

I knew immediately that I was home.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Murderer**

We stepped into the apartment hand-in-hand. My palms were sweaty with excitement.

I took one look at the living room and my teeth slipped across my bottom lip. I turned to Edward with a radiant smile.

It was a beautiful pre-war building that had been converted into three apartments.

"So beautiful..." I muttered in awe.

All the walls were painted white, the floors wooden and stained a lovely deep mahogany. I was itching to decorate already.

It was _perfect._

Our realtor, Tanya, showed us around enthusiastically.

She scared me; she was blond and leggy and highly intimidating. She looked at Edward like she wanted to eat him and spare no leftovers for anyone else.

We walked into the kitchen. I brushed my nails along to smooth, black granite counter-tops. It was all brand new.

_Shit. How much is this place going to cost?_

The bedroom was pretty big. Edward pressed himself into my back and whispered something along the lines of "_I'mgoingtofuckyouinhere." _very quickly and quietly. I pushed my ass back into him in approval.

"So guys, what do you think?" Tanya asked, interrupting our grinding session.

Edward nudged me.

"I _really _love it," I gushed.

A shit-eating grin spread across Edward's face. "I knew you would."

"And…I _think_ I'm pretty bored of looking, you know? I'm kind of ready to just sign and have a place to call my own." I bit my lip, looking down at the floor.

I looked up at him and he was still smiling.

"It's okay Bella, we can afford it. You don't have to worry," Edward assured me.

I looked at Tanya, who, in-between eyeing-up Edward's ass, looked incredibly smug that she might be making a sale.

"Tanya? Can Edward and I have a…uh moment? _Please_?" I snapped, distracting her.

She brushed her skirt, looking flustered that she got caught ogling his goods. "Why of course! I'll just be right in the hall." She grinned and tottered away.

"This is a really big deal Edward," I sighed.

"I know." He squeezed my hand.

I bit my lip again. "Are you _one hundred _percent positive you want to take all of this on with me? I have baggage…_lots _of it." I winced.

"_Fuck_, Bella. I want you, no matter what. Now stop worrying and let's sign the damn papers," he laughed, stealing a kiss. "Be spontaneous. Doesn't _this_ feel right?"

And it did.

We met Tanya in the kitchen and she handed over a huge, scary stack of paperwork.

"Just sign here, here and here, both of you please."

The way she was leering at us made me nervous; my hand shook as I took the pen.

We both signed and then…it was done. As simple as that. And honestly, I was shitting myself.

"You can come by my office and pick up the keys tomorrow." She pouted at Edward.

"We'll _both_ come get them first thing then," I said, smiling smugly.

Edward decided our purchase needed to be celebrated.

We walked to a nearby bar, taking in our new neighbourhood. I always dreamed of living in Manhattan. It was so _alive_, and I never had been.

"To a fresh start," Edward smirked, his beer clinking against mine.

I rested my head on Edward's shoulder, blissful and relaxed.

I sighed. "Alice is going to freak out when we tell her."

Edward snorted, taking a sip out of his bottle. "_No shi__t._ She's probably going to have a heart-attack."

We giggled like schoolgirls.

"Do you ever wonder if were moving too fast?" He asked, suddenly serious.

I sat up, studying his expression.

I sighed, chewing on the inside of my cheek. "Hmm…all the time. But I can't seem to care."

"I've had a lot of _shit_ in my life. You are the first good thing that's really ever happened to me and I'm going to live life as it comes, and hold on to you for as long as you'll have me."

He kissed my neck, brushing my hair away. "Good, because I'm not going anywhere."

I kissed his forehead tenderly. "Another beer?"

He smiled lazily and nodded. "Please."

I grabbed our empty bottles and headed to the bar. It was pretty quiet because it was Sunday. I smiled, thinking this would be a nice place to call our 'local'.

Also, the barman had kind eyes and didn't stare at my boobs which were quite obviously on display in my white v-neck.

I span around with our beers in hand, stopping dead in my tracks when I saw who was standing directly in front of me.

My entire body trembled, my face growing heated. I instinctively stepped backwards.

He was taller than I remembered, maybe even wider.

I was unable to catch my breath, my eyes breaking contact with his and finding the floor. I felt the familiar hot, wetness of tears falling down my cheeks.

"Isabella, nice to see you," he said, emotionless.

I gasped for air, shutting my eyes.

_Please, Edward._

"_James_," I whispered.

I felt him step towards me, felt his bitter breath on my skin.

"You look good. Better than the last time I saw you."

I could hear the smirk in his voice.

I took a deep breath, pulling my head up. I looked straight past James's hulking form, finding Edward still sat in our booth, oblivious to what was happening.

To anyone else it might just look like I was talking to a guy in a bar; to me it was a lot more. James was one of David's best friends. They were partners in crime, fucking numerous girls for fun, taking drugs, drinking and putting me 'in my place.'

A sob escaped my throat, my eyes still fixed on Edward, willing him to look for me.

"Aren't you going to talk to me, _Isabella_? Don't you owe me some kind of apology?" He leered, reaching out to grab my arm.

Trembling, I tried to catch my breath, failing. The room started to spin around me, I was feeling incredibly nauseous all of a sudden. I closed my eyes again, trying to steady myself.

"Take your hand off her," Edward warned.

_Finally._

"_Please let me go," _I whispered shakily.

"And who the _fuck_ are you, pretty boy?" James snarled, taking his hand off me sharply.

Edward stepped between me and James, placing the beers on the bar and pushing me behind his back gently.

"I'm her boyfriend," he replied calmly.

James scoffed, his face growing red. "_Boyfriend_ huh? So I'm guessing she didn't tell you she's a fucking _murderer_ then?!"

He looked straight through Edward at me, eyes angry and bulging. "You think you can just get away with that shit? Because _I_ don't. You don't shoot my buddy and get away with it. Watch your fucking sweet, _tight, _little ass Swan."

Edward spun around to face me. "Go wait outside," he hissed.

"Edward _please_, it's not worth it," I cried, grabbing his arms tightly, pleading.

I wasn't strong enough. Before I could react, Edward had landed a pretty sweet right-hook to James's ugly face, knocking him back into a group of people.

James looked stunned and agitated. I tugged on Edwards t-shirt, dragging him away from the crowd that was forming.

He took one last look at James before rushing me out of the bar.

He hailed a cab quickly and ushered me into it, barking Alice and Jasper's address at the driver.

I placed my head in my hands, sobs ripping from my chest, almost not believing this had all just happened. I watched my tears fall and pop as they landed on my jeans.

My heart hurt. My guilty conscience screamed at me for being a murderer; James was the first person to call me one.

I wiped at my face with my trembling palms, angry that I had cried because of James.

I turned to face Edward, watching him through my swollen, red eyes.

He started to open his mouth, but shut it, pulling me into his chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm _so_ sorry Bella," he whispered into my hair, rubbing my arms soothingly.

I felt a flutter of fear, then comfort. And then I was numb.

"What happened Edward!" Alice screeched her hands at my face instantly.

Edward glared at her. "We're fine Alice, she's fine."

"She doesn't look fucking fine! What did you do?"

My head snapped up at her accusation. "_He _didn't _do_ anything, Alice. I bumped into James."

Her mouth snapped shut, her eyes turned sad.

"Oh _Bella_, I'm sorry." Her hands flew up to cover her mouth, she shook her head.

"Come on, let's have some tea?" She ushered us into the living room.

I sat silently on the sofa, still trying to comprehend what just happened.

Alice flew at Edward, nearly choking him with the force of her hug.

"Thank you for looking after her," she mumbled into his shoulder.

He looked stunned before wrapping his arms around her back cautiously.

Jasper sat next to me carefully, placing his hand on my knee.

"You'll be okay little Bellh" He whispered, a kind smile on his lips.

I looked up at Edward, who was watching me with sad, loving eyes.

He cleared his throat. "My uh…my hand _really_ hurts." He winced, holding his right hand up to show us the damage before smirking.

His knuckles were already purple and cut, almost twice the size they should be.

"You got him real good." I smiled. "Thank you."

He knelt in front of me. "Are you okay?"

I touched his cheek. "Thanks to you."

He smiled; it didn't reach his eyes. I touched my forehead down to his and closed my eyes, breathing him in.

Alice and Jasper quietly started to leave the room.

"Wait," I said, standing up and pulling Edward with me.

"Uh…we kinda bought an apartment today." I laughed nervously.

"Really?!" Alice beamed.

"Yeah, really." Edward nodded, pulling me into his side. He grinned, biting his bottom lip. "_Please _don't have a coronary, Alice."

She stopped mid-jump and put her finger over her lips. "Sorry!"

She ran out of the room yelling for Jasper; squealing followed.

Edward looked at me with worried green eyes. "Are you _sure_ you're okay? I don't even want to know why you were so scared of him. I just…_don't_," he said, clenching his teeth.

I nodded, smoothing his creased brow. "Just an unwelcome visitor from my past bring back some bad memories. It's over now though."


End file.
